i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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