ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
