We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
