Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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