Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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