Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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