Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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