She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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