I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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