Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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