You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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