Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
