Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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