Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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