my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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