If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
