I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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