There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
