32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
