As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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