Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
