I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
