come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
