you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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