just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
