And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
