Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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