After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
