if only i could text you this smell
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
