he was CRYING into my vagina
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
