would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
