Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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