She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize