i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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