Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
