just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize