You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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