idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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