its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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