About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
