I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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