Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
