I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
