Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
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I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
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but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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