just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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