I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
