is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
