I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
