she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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