A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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