bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
