shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
