you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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