I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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