whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
