he fucked my hip out of place.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
