just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
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Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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