thus making me awesome and them whores
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
