I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I cut my penus on the lid.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
