Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
