He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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