Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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