Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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