Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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