2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize