I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
