i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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