She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
