Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
