Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
