3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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